Sunday, February 25, 2007

Beaten by a 6 year old...

I managed to get a hold of a Nintendo Wii console... along with a copy of Wii Sports, which has already claimed its first victim. Although Chuckie will deny it, playing boxing on Wii Sports put him outa action for at least 2 days with a knackered back.

Anyhow, this weekend I introduced Em to bowling on the Wii, not only did she pick it up really quickly she now holds the record on the console. It's not much fun being hammered by a 6 year old so I quickly changed to a different game, she cant be any good at boxing, I mean, she's six..... and a girl.

She now holds the boxing record too... soon afterwards the console stopped working for some reason (ahem).



Wednesday, February 21, 2007

When there is a hush that I contain.

I'm still 39 at the time of this posting.....

For some reason being 40 has played on my mind, well, to be honest, since I was a teenager. 40 cant happen to me, or if it does I'll have done everything there is to do. Being 40 when I was a kid, in a mining town was the end. Thats it fella, you've had ya lot, sit back and perfect the art of being increasingly useless, embarrassing and alcoholic with serious bladder weakness and a mistrust of people who smile.

But back then I still had enthusiasm hope and glory, I could make a difference and hopefully, with a lot of luck and help from like minded people I'd somehow make the world a better place. Cos in the late 70's we had a choice, either be another coughing black lung statistic or perhaps, just perhaps escape to something a little brighter.

And then you come into contact with the arseholes of this world, put here for no reason than to test your faith in the human race. Be it managers, salesmen, politicians, wives, girlfriends, council officials, accountants, anything ginger, people from the Isle Of White, pilots, doctors, dentists or architects they strap you into that chair and spout forth a million reasons why.... YOU ARE WRONG.

And... for a time..... I believed them.

and that's why I havnt done everything I should have done.

Mitigating circumstances M'lod.....

So, I'm asking the Universe for an extension. I need some extended play here. I got sucked into a downward spiral of negativity on a colossal scale..... I think I've done my time, now it's your turn you fuckers, for the lies, for the hurt, for the evil that lives deep within your shallow soulless hearts - you know who you are - welcome to your cheap seats, I hope this really really hurts, keep those pearly whites glowing, cos you're gonna need them where you're going.

If ever I needed some cake, now would be the time.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Knit one, perl one, jam it in ya goolies........

I was sent to hospital on Friday, it would seem my Rheumatologist was concerned about my worsening hip and wanted me to have a huge needle jammed into my groin to "withdraw" any puss that might be there...... nice.

Anyhow, after screaming like a girl for most of the procedure the operating doctor told me that the fluid he extracted looked ok, no signs of puss or infection..... which is good cos apparently you can loose a leg if an infection goes unchecked (I assume its the painful leg that gets the chop in these circumstances!)

It came as a great shock to find out I was to stay in hospital over the weekend, I thought I'd be chucked out almost immediately after the needle incident, but the doc wanted to keep me under observation for a few days. Being the tit I am, I didn't bring anything in for the stay, no clothes, no PJ's, no toothbrush/paste, no porn. But thanks to Chuckie (again) he rallied round and got some stuff for me (except the porn)....... Thanks marra, thats another one I owe you.

Of course all the drugs and medication in the world will never make me feel as good as a visit from my little girlie, thanks to Sue and Gary for bringing my Em to see me, she made my weekend much better.

Em brought me a get well soon card which she made herself (without any help from mammy!)


Sunday, February 04, 2007

Windows Vista..... or Dave's new girlfriend?

Hi, my name is David and I'm an IT consumer cow

Facts:

I know anything that is advertised in the media is a lie.
Microsoft products never live up to their hyped expectations
Microsoft products are grossly overpriced

So, why the hell did I buy Microsoft's new Vista PC Operating System?

Well, I didn't intend to purchase it, as most IT people know you never ever buy any software on its first release, it simply wont work. It'll be bug ridden, at best it'll just crash regularly, at worst it'll destroy any important data and attempt to reduce your hardware to a silicon paste. And you NEVER EVER buy an OS on first release..... The OS is the heart of your computing experience, it has a hand in every single thing that happens on that machine.

Anyhow, I was perusing the isles of PC WORLD, not looking for anything in particular, occasionally giggling at the enormous long queue of irate customers at the "Customer Service" desk waiting for the spotty herbert to tell them that everything the sales person said before the purchase was a lie and the only way of getting your money back would be to take them to court...... and if they don't leave in the next 60 seconds they will be forcibly ejected by the knuckle dragging shaved ape with the word "Security" sellotaped to his chest.

But that's not the point, this is...... PC World managed to mis-lable and price an entire shelf of Vista Home Premium (Full version, not Upgrade) DVD's.

Being a professional within the IT industry and working for a top blue chip IT company I did the right thing...... walked over to the queue of irate people at the customer service desk, told them PC World had dropped a bollock and had mis-priced Vista by £70 and by law MUST sell it to you at the stickered price....... Feeling very please with my self I returned to the checkout with my £70 lighter copy of Vista and bought it.

The manager wasn't happy, but after I'd explained to him that employing "the dangerously bewildered" on minimum wage to sticker goods worth hundreds of pounds was no fault but his own, and that Trading Standards could shut his shop at the drop of a hat if he refused my purchase, this had him smiling sweetly and wishing me a "good day" through gritted teeth.

No doubt the knuckle dragging shaved ape on the door has been trained to recognise me should I ever return and to remove my testicles with impunity.

Oh, and I guess you wanna know how I got on with Vista? Well, lets just say I'm back using XP as I feel being able to use my DVD drive and not having the browser crash every few moments is a bonus. On a technical note, if you have a system with Dynamic Disks then back them up first as Vista will tell you they are knackered and suggest you format...... not good.

It's a bit like previous girlfriends I've had, quite tasty on the outside but filled with disease and a passion to stop you doing anything you like.